Encouragement, Music

Why God Told Me to Throw Away My Beyonce CD


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In my testimony I mentioned how I idolized Beyonce. I was seven years old when it was no longer okay to be myself.

Me being from Houston, Texas did not help much as our city was proud of Destiny’s Child, especially the little black girls who saw a hope into being a somebody. Or let me speak for me and my cousins, as those little black girls.

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(L2R: LaDondrea. Me. Stacey.)

We pretended to be them. I, of course, was Beyonce, my cousin Stacey, was Kelly, and my cousin LaDondrea, was Kellyonce; At this time, as sad as it is, nobody wanted to be Michelle. Not to shade who Michelle is as a beautiful creation from God; it’s just that we had too much loyalty to the original group of ladies.
Plus, I once went to the same ice cream shop that Beyonce went to as a little girl, where the store owner, Mr. Hank, would tell my cousin Stacey and I stories of Beyonce & Kelly when they were younger; so in my mind, I was definitely in, “the know,” of Beyonce.

Fast tracking through my life, I owned every CD, DVD, knew all of the lyrics, went to all of her Texas shows. I even defended her like she was my sister if an individual stated their personal dislike for her.

I wanted her life, her beauty, her talent, her.

Even once I got saved, I saw no problem with Beyonce. My other favorite artists began to really convict me such as Kanye West, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna. But Beyonce’s music, I made a pass for, because it was not, “so bad.” Plus! I can just sing ‘Halo,’ ‘Dangerously in Love,’ to Jesus; and sing ‘Best Thing I Never Had’ as a diss to Satan. Folly.

In 2012, my favorite preacher, Heather Lindsey, wrote a blog post on, how music & tv affects our lives, and consistently tweeted and wrote messages on how we should guard our hearts. I listened and acted on what I wanted to; but at first, I did not accept this message, because it CONVICTED me. I did not want to give up Beyonce, and Basketball Wives.

The Lord really graces me here. I’m stubborn, and He is such a gentleman.

Through 2012, by grace I gave up certain shows and music here and there. I remember literally taking my Watch the Throne, Take Care, and Talk that Talk albums, and throwing them into the trashcan in my mother’s home in the country. I stocked up on more Christian rap and was good.

A veil, from this life conditioning of sin; I was so blind. I did not accept that I idolized Beyonce until February 2013, when Beyonce announced her Mrs. Carter tour. What! I’m there, floor seats, and nothing less, like always. My sisters also wanted to go, and money nor location was of a problem. If I wanted to watch Beyonce in Puerto Rico, New York, or Las Vegas I could have.

But I couldn’t even get a ticket in DALLAS.

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How could that be so when I skipped class to make sure I got my ticket on the pre- pre-sale date. Even though I had more than enough money in the bank, and a flight out to anywhere, I was not supposed to be there.
God revealed me. I then knew I idolized Beyonce. This hurt me to my core as I literally became depressed and cried the entire day because I could not get floor tickets to an entertainer’s show that I’ve been to since 7.

I had to repent once I got out of my prideful fit. Then, I had to let her go.

Since that month of February I had been careful until, December 2013. When Beyonce released her 5th album unexpectedly.

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I wanted it so bad, but I did not get it. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed, asking God if I was over idolizing her, and if it was safe for me to own this album. I did not get a yes, but every time I was tempted to listen to a song I felt a bad vibe, a conviction from the Holy Spirit, that I began to ignore. Because again, I must rationalize Beyonce in my life.

I thought this time, ‘heeey, she’s married so she can sing about sex,’ even though I’m a single woman listening. ‘If unpure thoughts come I will think about my future husband,’ duuumb. And last but not least, ‘I just won’t listen to the dirty songs.’ So I didn’t buy it.

But I quickly gave in. I downloaded everything for free from my cousin Stacey’s iTunes account. To then later purchase the CD for my car to listen to over the holidays.

Everytime I would listen to the songs, I was so convicted. But that soon started to fade away, to the point of me listening to Blow quite comfortably, and I edited a few choice words within the song as I sang along. (By the way, I thought that by purchasing the edited version, made things better.)

Spiritually, I allowed another distraction to drift me from God. I have not been spending time with Him as I should desire to, and one day after working late this month I got so tired of our distance, and my lukewarmness.

I got on my face and I asked God, what did I need to do to get back to Him; to desire Him again like I did when first got saved.

God told me this exactly, straight from my prayer journal.

Throw Beyonce’s CD away. Out of the window. You weren’t ready.

Ouch. Then the Holy Spirit kept on and revealed how that music affected me.

Idolized Beyonce, wanted to look like her, attention from men, facad, lust, sexual immorality, selling self short, bulimic thoughts, fit this image.

Wow.

I left my job, and on my way home, I did not listen to another song. I had to obey God. I ejected the disk, and once I drove near a small area in my neighborhood that had a creek, I rolled the window down, and frisbee’d it out into an area that none should be in for any retrieval.

He also told me to post this blog about why I won’t be intentionally listening to Beyonce again.

I still love the song Pretty Hurts + Heaven; however, I want to move forward with God, and I can’t do that without doing the last thing that He told me to do.

In honor of our relationship, I pray that this post blesses and convicts those according to God’s will back to repentance. May God be with you all. Have an amazing Sunday!

95 Comments

  • Thank you for sharing your testimony! I was so blessed by this! People often have a hard time understanding why I as a Christian choose to only listen to christian music. They dont understand it’s a spiritual matter and you have to pay attention to those convictions. God convits me whenever I listen to anything that does not glorify and uplift His name! Keep pressing tho! Dont stop listening to God’s voice. Its an honor and a privelage to have that guidance. 🙂

  • wow! amazing story! [: im so happy you wrote this! im sure many girls can relate and oh wow, what a beautiful testiment of overcoming temptation! [:

  • Thank you for sharing this. I had stopped listening to Beyonce years ago when I got saved along with a lot of songs I used to listen to. I do listen to some songs every now and again and like you after a day or so I am about to gospel b/c I am convicted and I notice those songs continue to ring in my head days later. These secular songs bring NO glory to GOD and they don’t exalt Him in any way. A couple weeks ago I realized that I was letting to much into my spirit. There was a time when I was so mindful of what I read, what I saw, heard and said, but slowly I allowed things not of GOD ( reality shows, movies, tv shows) that don’t edify God back into my life. There was a time when watching these shows and listening to certain songs convicted me, but the Holy Spirit had not been nudging or should I say if it had, I was ignoring it. I realized that I needed God to move so much in my life and the lives of my family and friends and others I needed to stand in the gab for that I needed to get back in my RIGHTFUL POSITION WITH GOD… I was saved for a reason and it wasn’t about me- but those attached to me…so although it has not been easy I am trying to be mindful of flipping past those shows that would captivate me, not get on FB as much but get into my word and see what the LORD is telling me. I need HIM much more than any TV show, any newsfeed, or any secular song that does not edify the Lord or that can fix my situation. I am so thankful for your honesty and your post- so many people need to know that there are certain things GOD will not tolerate when you say you are a child of his. We have to stop being convinced that we can look at secular tv and listen to it without it affecting us. When you need GOD to move in your life; can Beyonce or any reality star fix it for us? NO- we idolize these people and pay more attention to them than the one that created us and will see us through. The enemy is so cunning and deceiving and we have to be mindful of what we allow into our spirits. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and we make it easy for him. Thank you again because this just gives me more confirmation to continue to seek God and him alone! Be blessed!

    • Thank you for this post! I have been struggling with this same issue lately. Her 6th album, Lemonade, just came out and even though I had a feeling I shouldn’t download the album, I bought all the songs and have been listening to it and every time one of her profanity filled songs played, I felt guilty but kept listening. If there’s one artist that I listen to that is the hardest to give up, it’s Beyonce. :/

  • YAAASSS! I threw my CD away too girl. I literally started to “feel” the words to Partition each time I sang along with it. And in trying to resist sexual impurity, the lyrics were becoming a part of my thoughts. And I knew if I kept on my thoughts would turn into action. Wheeew! Glad I wasn’t the only one who tossed it.

  • Love the post, as a hip hop head, I made the decision to stop listening to the secular artists about 6 years ago. I went through the same thing, I felt like the music was harmless at first and later realized that it wasn’t and I was somewhat addicted to the music. I do occasionally listen to some secular albums to see what the culture is talking about, what direction it’s going in, but I never give anything more then a listen or 2 before discarding it. I was just discussing with someone last night about how detrimental Beyonce’s music and image can be to young women, I hope that someone gets to read this post.

  • Wow!!! So glad all the comments are positive. We have to do whatever we each need to do to get closer to God. Kudos to you and I will definitely evaluate my relationship and do what is necessary..

    • Yes, I’m thankful that all of the comments have been positive and encouraging as well! All of the glory belongs to Jesus, and may God’s grace be with you; also may His will be done with your evaluation, in Jesus’s name, Amen!

  • I enjoyed reading this and share the same sentiments about Beyoncé. Her music does not draw one closer to God, but farther away regardless of her position in life and self-proclaimed Christianity. Bless you Sis!

  • I respect your perspective. I’m not big on religion, but I do believe everyone should do what they have to for the betterment of themselves. It’s the same way with drugs or alcohol, if that is a problematic issue, why in the world would you surround yourself with it? I commend you. That takes strength.

  • Hey there can you help me get good back in mhy life please can you help me? Im a young little girl… just email mhe please put comment back???

  • Reblogged this on B-Boy For Christ and commented:
    I had to reblog this post. This should be eye opening to everyone in love with the entertainment world. Idolization is real and can control your life, the way you think and do things. God bless this young woman. For it may be silly to some, but it is actually a very huge act that she did. Just read for yourselves.

  • Hello! Your testimony is amazing & one that a lot of Christian’s need to hear. Would you be interested & available to do an on-air interview about this blog? I am a radio personality & producer for Urban Family Talk which is a ministry of the American Family Association. Feel free to check out our website to see our mission, urbanfamilytalk.com. I’d love to connect with you & have you share this story with our listeners & followers. I look forward to hearing from you, God Bless!

  • Thank the Lord you that somebody had the strength to expose what Beyoncé is selling. It’s not just music but it brings sex, witchcraft and addiction. Don’t sell your soul to Satan.

    • “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12

  • I’m so proud of you! I know it’s hard to step out at times & cut off those things, but it becomes alot easier when you see how BAD music & tv can be for your spirit man. Continue to press into Christ & trust Him. It’s all so worth it.

    • It’s hard for me to find words to reply, & hold back tears. I am so honored that you even read this post Mrs. Lindsey. As a result of your personal relationship with God, and submission to Him, I was saved. Thank you so much! And I can’t wait to meet you in Dallas on the 28th. (I was too nervous to meet you at the Pinky Promise Conference, lol.)

  • I must say that something simular happened to me, which is why i am truly blessed for your testimony! I too was a die hard beyonce fan since i was a little girl, in fac tsince i was 15 yrs old i have heard that i resemble her in many ways. I am 28 and i stll hear it…i have to be honest this use to be a major compliment until she changed. Her music has done a 360 since she first stepped out..i use to be a fan of her talent and songs that empowered.I am unable to listen to any of her music bc she is so “raw” with her word not caring about what little girl she may wrongfully inspire.Before i wad completely done with her music i would listen to her words or watch how she carried herself……i just couldn’t listen anymore…my spirit man would crenge when i even tried to list…as i tell my 13 year old be mindful of lyrics bc when you are not you will be misslead without even knowing.

    • Wow sis! I’m so glad we have the Holy Spirit who loves us enough to have us uncomfortable to what doesn’t please God. I am also happy that you are teaching your child this important lesson! May God’s grace be with you!

  • This is a great article, I grew being taught of things i should guard my heart against. When guarding your against such as a child, peer pressure makes it that much harder to overcome. I have explained to so many of the world that it does matter what you watch or listen to. It all has an influence. It all plays a part in strengthening your spiritual condition. If there is something that goes again God’s Law the bible why give in because everyone says its not that serious. Satan is so subtle in how he bates you into going against God that you dont even know He has won you over.

  • WOW! Thank you for being obedient and posting! God will honor your sacrifice. And remember wide is the road which leads to distruction but, narrow is the road that leads to Christ.

  • Thank you so much for sharing! Your honesty and transparency is what’s needed more in the Body of Christ! I’ve heard from my First Lady that we are what we eat. What we feed our spirit man reflects what will come out and at times, how we look! God is doing a similar work on me. We all have our “Beyonces” and it hurts as God reveals them and begins the stripping away…but I am so thankful that He reveals these things to us! Lastly, I can also relate to trying to attain that image and comparison. Lord have mercy that’s a scheme of the enemy! Thank you again..so so much!

  • It’s true that anything or anybody can be an idol! You definitely have to be careful. I know it had to been hard to let go, but congrats to you for gaining the will to follow what God was telling you to do.

  • With all of the negative things that the world allows us to see, read and hear, this is an absolute blessing. Especially how you came to realize that you needed to get closer to Him – and the only way to truly make that happen was to separate yourself from the things that kept you apart from the beginning. He is more than proud of your commitment and dedication to making yourself of more value in the Kingdom. Keep walking in His Divine Liberty! Peace…

  • Amen!!! Blessings to you and your commitment!!! I too have slowly been letting go of things,I haven’t listened to rap in years and certain tv shows i have dismissed. I’m still a work in progress and get stronger everyday..thanks for your testimony.
    I couldn’t help but notice your cousins name. I have a cousin named LaDondrea Harrison,if this is the same person. They call me Candy..

  • God bless you. This is just the beginning of HIs blessings towards you. When you position yourself to hearken to the voice of God then it is evident that He wants to walk closer with you. Embrace Him and there is peace for you and growth that is wonderful each step of the way.

  • “I’m stubborn, and He is such a gentleman.” This is my favorite line. There is so much grace with the king and he is so gentle with us. I am in the same place with a lot of my music and everything you just wrote is why I have not aquired this album myself. It was release right around the time I have felt the Lord telling me to get rid of Drake, Kanye, Jay-Z, and so many more.

    What hit me the most was – why should I have to create a special playlist if my friends who are believers come over and want to listen to music. I should not have to “censor” my collection to accomodate the audience – God is still my audience regardless. It’s an interesting journey and it’s cool to hear someone else experiencing it too!

    • Wow Samantha! I would feel the same way whenever I had my niece or cousin near my age in my car as I would turn on the radio because of course they don’t listen or even know Lecrae, Trip Lee, Andy Mineo, etc. and then I just stopped. I started listening to my music that glorified Him, and then loved it! Asking who sung the songs, and wanted to discuss how awesome it was! I pray that God gives you the courage too my love!

  • Reblogged this on cross-eyed and commented:
    While I don’t idolize Beyonce, I do notice that I’ve been similarly inspired by God to stop watching or listening to certain stuff. It just made me feel awkward spiritually, and it’s true — what I plant in my soul is what will grow and bear fruit, and there’s fruit I really do not want growing in the garden of my life.

  • Thank you for sharing!!! Several years ago I threw away and deleted every song I owned. I spent some time praying and fasting. God knew what he was doing because years later I absolutely needed a strong foundation in him. To date, NO ONE has ever been as good to me as HE is. Good luck to you and Keep him first!

  • Beautiful tribute to the scripture that tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice. God know us better than we know ourselves and will always position us for greater. Appreciate your transparency.

  • hello(: I’m seibreanna and I’m 13 years old, I strongly appreciate this testimony. As a teenager, I deal with this ” idolizing ” problem myself. recently, my mom swayed out of church do to being church hurt. we are strong believers of God, but we are going through a tough time fighting the devil. me and my mom are different. it’s kind of hard to explain to people ,but we have spiritual gifts and The Lord gives us dreams. the cool thing is, they happen! we went to an apolstolic church that had AMAZING teaching!! we got VERY involved in the church. with me being called to be a singer, I joined the adult and children’s choir. but it seemed like the more we got involved, the harder the devil pulled us. since we aren’t in the church anymore, it’s difficult for me to get teaching, but my mom is VERY intelligent with the bible. for some reason I can’t receive from her! There is a whole lot more! But I thank you for posting this! God will reveal! He is awesome(: he is coming soon! I can’t wait to see his face, because then I’ll be happy all the time. This world is hard, even for children. especially if you are chosen. Because many are called ,but few are chosen.

    • I LOVE your faith! It’s so beautiful to see you so faithful even after church hurt and to see you so excited for Jesus to return! I so get how you all feel because I too recently have experienced some church hurt. For some online sermons, try thegonow.com & if you can, you & your mom should read this blog post involving church hurt, you just reminded me of it and I pray that it convicts all of us. You are so wise and I pray that God blesses you & your mom. Keep dreaming, singing, and believing in Jesus!

      http://www.heatherllindsey.com/2011/12/but-they-hurt-me.html#.U-G0vcZbtuY

  • Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been bothered by Beyonce’s music as well. I had to cut back from listening to a lot of the songs, because it promotes lust, and I idolization of her husband. I’m all for loving your spouse, but your spouse should not become your God, and if you listen to some of her lyrics, she talks about her husband like he is her God, and she would do anything for him, even if it doesn’t please God. She idolizes him, and as Christians, we are not to have any other God. I’ve known many women who forget about God, and give all of their attention to their husbands, not spending anytime with God. Well, anyway, thanks so much for your post. I am truly blessed by it. God bless you for obeying God, and blessing others by sharing such a wonderful testimony.

    • Glory to God for the post!

      I encourage you sis to never cease in praying for those women that you know whom have forgotten about God whilst giving all of their attention to their husbands. I’m only in courtship & already asking God on helping me to re-balance my life with getting to know my brother well!

      I agree that nothing should come before our relationship with the Lord, and we should always pray against any idolatry in our lives as it can come in many forms. Your comment definitely made me think of this verse in 1 Corinthians 7…

      29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. 31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

      32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

      Be blessed sis & comment at anytime! I enjoyed responding & interacting with you!

  • Very good story.

    I have a similar situation. I love pop music, so I love Beyoncé. I went to her Mrs Carter Show in 2013, here in Brazil. Her simplicity here at the time made me love her even more. Months later she realesed this album.
    I listened to all the album, but something didn’t feel right.
    Since this year I decided to follow Jesus and His Word and since then, I had to change some things.

    I still listen to some of her songs, but in a very different point view.

    Last… Let’s remember to pray for Beyoncé and other girls in this industry who grew up in a christian house.

    God bless you.

  • I enjoyed reading your blog. When I was in college, as a baby christian, I loved listening to secular rap music and other forms of secular music even more than I liked listening to christian music. In fact, I hardly listened to christian music UNTIL one day, the question came to my mind …”If you are a christian, can you listen to both types of music (both secular and christian)?” It was as if God had asked me the question…..And thats when it dawned on me that if I am now a believer, I have to now listen to christian music ONLY. There is something wrong with music that does not give glory to God and furthermore we cant have one foot in heaven and one foot in hell at the same time. I adjure you to pray fervently, asking God to show you all the other things you need to adjust in your life and to give you eyes to see clearly because I have come to realise that there are ALOT of pratices that people have adopted in the 20th century and 21st century which will cause them to go to hell. (www.eternal-destinations.blogspot.com). Cheers!

  • That’s so awesome. I feel the same way and God is continually sharpening through what true entertainment should be like. I always think that if God is completely holy then should we engage in things that exalt and promote sin? The world tells us it’s a big price to pay if we give up certain comforts but it’s really not much of a price at all. The world can’t be our standard of entertainment. I can’t imagine the Holy Spirit enjoying listening to sin. I applaud you for your obedience and thank God for your open example. I’m glad I see more people who feel the same as me! It’s encouraging.

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