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Abandonment Is Real


After a discussion with one of my sisters regarding her feelings of abandonment throughout her life, I disconnected as being abandoned is not a word that I familiarize my life with. I also disregarded it for her life due to my opinion of her perspective just being poor & off. Which I knew wasn’t fair, so I begin being sympathetic to her life stories that I was then too young to understand.
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I later that night researched what exactly abandonment entailed, as I knew that I (as all people on this earth,) have experienced much; but was pretty confident that abandonment wasn’t one, (also the same for my sister.) But I wanted to understand abandonment, and why she may have felt this way so easily, as I think it is an end all, be all situation that’s not easily mistaken.
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I mean, as a marketing director of a child placing agency, I’ve seen many foster care cases of what I consider to be true abandonment. I currently even have the opportunity to love on a Baby Moses. Learn more of what the Baby Moses Law is here. So knowing of my sister’s life, abandonment is not something I would necessarily say has happened to her (as if I am a judge.) However, I was looking at it from a perspective that lacked knowledge and compassion.
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A few articles later on Psychology Today to check myself off as one who hasn’t been abandoned, (because let’s be honest, I don’t need to add anything more onto the list of healing, although the Lord can heal all;) I realized that abandonment is so common that it seemed “normal,” to me. I can’t think of one person who probably hasn’t been abandoned in some way. I am even considered an automatic victim of abandonment, as I am a being who has lost a parent to death. I learned that abandonment is not solely for a one being physically left by a parent, but can be felt in divorce, friendships ending, as a result of sexual molestation, and many other traumatic life events.

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It saddened me to question God if there are people out there who didn’t grow up psychologically affected by abandonment in some way, because I couldn’t imagine how it is something that is unavoidable on this earth. Now I’ve been made even more conscious, that if I were to be a mother, or even currently as an aunt, an adult that works with children, a sister, a friend, a daughter, a niece, a co-worker, just as a human, to be attentive to healing immediate abandonment seeds in those I may plant; or the one’s others have planted.

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I refuse to be the victim as I aligned with some of the symptoms of one who has been abandoned. Thank you God for removing the veil again on an area of healing. On this journey I’ve received spiritual insight of the poisonous fruit that I bear regarding my relationships with people and even the Lord. I kept seeing the fruit, but couldn’t get to the root. But the Lord has shown me that it’s abandonment, and it begins with my father’s death.

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The Lord has made me a hopeful person which I believe is a huge gift because I will see the good in anything or anyone, and won’t stop until the bad slaps me hard in the face. That has been great. However, I think I use it poorly sometimes to not deal with the bad as it is, right then and there. I forget the bad as if it has never happened. Possibly allow the bad to be excusable because of the 1%< of good. I will lack emotions if I remember the bad and it’s never a topic of convo. Or I make the convo easy for others, because I either act unaffected, or I really just am. And that my friend is a sign of one who has experienced abandonment: Hiding a Part of Myself.

IMG_1476We must really gain knowledge for our standing now as people, heal and change, so we won’t harm the next generation by feeding them our bitter fruit. But can we really say we’ve been truly abandoned? The healing can begin in knowing that the Lord will never abandon us.  Rejoice thankfully in Jesus being abandoned by the Father, as our substitute at the cross.

Mark 15:34  And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Psalm 27:10  Even if my father and mother abandon me,the Lord will hold me close.

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

Romans 8:38 & 39  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hebrews 13:5 & 6  Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Isaiah 49:14-16  Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us;
the Lord has forgotten us.”
“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible,
I would not forget you!
See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
Always in my mind is a picture of Jerusalem’s walls in ruins.

Matthew 28:18-20  Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

IMG_1480Wearing Forever21, ZARA, Topshop, & ASOS

May you have a Merry CHRISTmas and may the peace of the Lord be with you. Celebrate the King’s birth in thankfulness today!

John 3:16 & 17 For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Share in the comment section if you’ve ever been abandoned, and how you’ve healed or are healing from it now.

Blessings!

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