Have you ever felt like you were moving, but not making any moves. I do sometimes. Not only that, but set backs on top of not progressing is an annoyance that I feel are avoidable & confusing.
I’m a #Girlboss. I love completing tasks & accomplishing goals. I love thinking ten steps ahead. And nothing is more rewarding than saying, DONE! (Inserts happy dance.)
I thought that it was God just giving me the entire humble pie; not just a slice. But the lesson plan did not have HUMILITY written at the top. The lesson that I was getting, was the Lord saying, SLOW DOWN BABY.
I couldn’t understand my current plight a few weeks ago. Planning things for TheKingKali.com, set back. Losing my car key, set back for work and everything in my life. Planning finances, set back with emergency purchases like: power cord, new battery for Mac, random new tire, now new car key?
Oh what else? I guess it’s cool to have your pants on backwards, and locking yourself out of your geico app when attempting to get your car towed to purchase this new car key. Oh it isn’t? Well I guess I’m not cool then.
Let’s add a little seasoning, how about locking your dress on the way out of the door to church, to later tripping over this said dress down the church pew and ripping a new hole into it with your awesome new stiletto booties. This was after leaving your phone, best friend leaving her bible, because you guys are too shook after witnessing a high school football team give their lives to Christ.
It seemed like one thing was trying to set everything back that week. I kept trying to find excuses but everything pointed back to me. Although I didn’t realize the overall lesson in the moment, the Holy Spirit kept prompting me to keep going; because that Saturday, I was going to allow a lost key decide my current situational fate. All due to me not wanting to be a burden so much, so I was just going to sit at home and survive.
The Holy Spirit has been teaching me the importance of faithfulness lately, and so I got reminded of Luke 16:10. He questioned me like, Kali, are you really going to allow you losing one little ol’ key to ruin your day, you not going to church, you not feeding your cats, and any other responsibilities + all of the above? Every time I wanted to get in the feels, He reminded me that: God is good.
I trusted God whenever my mind desired to worry Saturday night while searching for my car key. But I got that lesson. I can’t worry. Worrying isn’t going to make my key come back. But, I can trust God and keep going.
I can trust that He is good, and cares about me and my current situations. I can also trust that He sees me. I can trust that when I pray, He is listening. And I remembered the Parable of the Persistent Widow, where Jesus told His disciples a story, teaching them that they should always pray and never give up.
So, I didn’t worry. But I did get humbled in asking for help during my struggle. With this help I was grateful, appreciative, and was cognizant to say thank you at all times. I learned to trust God in this situation. And now I understood a little deeper to what God was telling me: Slow down baby. Refocus. Regroup. Reprioritze. What is important?
I was planning and not making the changes to execute those plans. Instead of making changes and disciplining myself; I, like a child, was just going to tire myself out by trying to do it all. I was telling myself that I needed to, grind, stay up later, and hustle. And if I wasn’t a walking zombie, I wasn’t bossing it enough. Which in all is ineffective regarding yours & my health.
A #Girlboss is disciplined. We make choices and say no to what’s not feasible at the moment, and without apologizing for it. This #Girlboss is going to, boss up. I am getting back to a disciplined me. A focused me. With a healthy balance of what I care most about.
How will I slow down? With asking myself… what is important?
TheKingKali LLC, is. Family & friends are. My home & cats are. My church is. My health is. My knowledge & growing is. Nothing else is (as) important.
I will slow down by giving the reigns back to God. Being not in control, (once again He keeps reminding me because He is a good Father,) shows me at the end of the day that, I really don’t have this. This meaning me, my life, the world, whether the flowers bloom or wither. Nothing.
God does, and I can’t worry about trying to make changes when I don’t have the willpower, nor the wisdom. He foresees everything, so I must trust that it is good, because ultimately He knows no other way than to be good.
A song by India.Arie replayed in my heart to calm me that week (as He knows music is a way to my soul.) “You need to slow down baby, you’re going too fast…”
I don’t think too well when I’m rushing. I listen to calming music to slow myself and my brain, or else I’ll wreck myself. I also like to be around people who are calm and serene too.
Even high energy drives me up the wall. Probably why I’m an introvert because if I don’t pull away from that, I’m crazy. I’m glad that God loves me, as is.
Take time out at the beginning of this new year to slow down if need be, to refocus & be still with the Lord. Have you ever experienced a day where you just needed to slow down? Tell me about it in the comment section!
Wearing Forever21 & a thrifted find from when I was heavily inspired by Tina Turner, (hence the sparkling dress.) Photographed by Melanee Brown.
Happy NYE & may God’s grace be with you in 2016!