I was, that, girl.
wild & crazy college girl, who did not
believe in the double standard. Who was the man-eater,
having multiple little boyfriends. That girl who partied every weekend,
as I danced on the club stage with my “friends.” That girl who was drunk
every weekend, & high every other. That girl who dressed provocatively.
That girl who idolized Beyonce, Rihanna, Kim Kardashian, & other top
celebrities. That girl who did not guard her heart nor her purity. That girl
who left herself vulnerable for pain.
It took my world crashing for me to wake up.
Because I was that girl, I began to fail in my classes because I was too
tired from partying; my hangover was more important than getting to
class. Later withdrawing myself one spring semester.
Because I was that girl, my shame of who I was becoming distanced me
from keeping in touch with my family, because I did not want to lie on the,
“how is school, how is everything going,” question.
Because I was that girl, my “friends,” became distant due to a relationship
that I was in. I began spending less time going out every weekend,
because at the time I’d rather lay up with my little boyfriend.
Because I was that girl, I got into a relationship with a boy who
hypocritically introduced me to Christ, but loved my body more than Him.
This resulted into a very abusive relationship emotionally, & sometimes
physically with our fights. We ended our relationship for the umteenth time
because of another sex scandal with another girl at my school.
I was tired of my life, depressed & my soul checked out.
I only had my job as an accessory manager & visual merchandiser left. My best
friend at the time & I decided that we were leaving; moving to LA, &
starting over fresh. We saved our money, & then…I lost my job.
I broke down, called my family crying, took a flight out of Lubbock back
to Dallas immediately. I was done with that life, with that Kali, & I planned
to move forward.
I was that girl who was hurt & broken. I lost everything that I thought was
important in my life, family, school, friends, my job, & the guy that I loved.
All the while I felt Christ tugging at my heart, but I did not answer because
I did not understand why He would want someone like me. Someone who
has sinned against him for their entire existence.
Why would He want,
That night when I got back home to Dallas I finally gave in. I felt that I was
completely useless & broken, I cried out to Christ on my knees & I
surrendered all of my past shame & pain unto Him. Immediately after I
could feel my heart being mended. Jesus calmed me as a mother calms
her child. He comforted me & told me that things would be alright, & that
it’s not over.
Since that summer of 2011, Christ has changed my entire life around &
has made me a new creature as He promised in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “This
means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The
old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
Glory to Jesus!